W's Speech From the RNC

Mr. Chairman, delegates, fellow citizens: I am honored by your support, and I accept your nomination for President of the United States. (Well, it’s good to get that out of the way. Now what’s the point of the speech?)

When I said those words four years ago, none of us could have envisioned what these years would bring. In the heart of this great city, we saw tragedy arrive on a quiet morning. We saw the bravery of rescuers grow with danger. We learned of passengers on a doomed plane who died with a courage that frightened their killers. We have seen a shaken economy rise to its feet. And we have seen Americans in uniform storming mountain strongholds, and charging through sandstorms, and liberating millions, with acts of valor that would make the men of Normandy proud.

Since 2001, Americans have been given hills to climb, and found the strength to climb them. Now, because we have made the hard journey, we can see the valley below. (Wow, that metaphor sure took an awkward turn. Aren’t valleys considered the low point? We’ve made a hard journey and now we can see the low point? They must have let the proofreaders concentrate on the Cheney & Miller’s hate speeches.) Now, because we have faced challenges with resolve, we have historic goals within our reach, and greatness in our future. We will build a safer world and a more hopeful America -- and nothing will hold us back. (Here’s something odd that I first saw on a sign being held by one of the delegates: is it really the right message for an incumbent to send by consistently using the re-election phrase “a more hopeful America”? Am I crazy? It’s just me right? There’s something I’m not getting about it?)

In the work we have done, and the work we will do, I am fortunate to have a superb Vice President. I have counted on Dick Cheney's calm and steady judgment in difficult days, and I am honored to have him at my side.

I am grateful to share my walk in life with Laura Bush. Americans have come to see the goodness and kindness and strength I first saw 26 years ago, and we love our First Lady. (Unfortunately for him there’s a lot of Americans that still see the drunk, coked-up, direction-less W of 26 years ago.)

I am a fortunate father of two spirited (wink, wink), intelligent, and lovely young women. I am blessed with a sister and brothers who are also my closest friends. And I will always be the proud and grateful son of George and Barbara Bush.

My father served eight years at the side of another great American -- Ronald Reagan. His spirit of optimism and goodwill and decency are in this hall, and in our hearts, and will always define our party. (And we thank him for his expertly-timed death.)

Two months from today, voters will make a choice based on the records we have built, the convictions we hold, and the vision that guides us forward. A presidential election is a contest for the future. Tonight I will tell you where I stand, what I believe, and where I will lead this country in the next four years.

I believe every child can learn, and every school must teach -- so we passed the most important federal education reform in history. Because we acted, children are making sustained progress in reading and math, America's schools are getting better, and nothing will hold us back.

I believe in the energy and innovative spirit of America's workers, entrepreneurs, farmers, and ranchers -- so we unleashed that energy with the largest tax relief in a generation. Because we acted, our economy is growing again, and creating jobs, and nothing will hold us back. (Those tax cuts were nice, but they aren’t enough.)

I believe the most solemn duty of the American president is to protect the American people. If America shows uncertainty and weakness in this decade, the world will drift toward tragedy. This will not happen on my watch.

I am running for President with a clear and positive plan to build a safer world, and a more hopeful America. I am running with a compassionate conservative philosophy: that government should help people improve their lives, not try to run their lives. I believe this Nation wants steady, consistent, principled leadership -- and that is why, with your help, we will win this election. (How this guy gets away with calling himself compassionate is beyond me. I believe he may have compassion in his heart, but he’s got his religion clouding up things so much that he just picks and chooses who to be compassionate for. Furthermore, if a Democrat were to call himself compassionate, we’d hear a chorus of Republicans muttering “pussy” under their breaths.)

The story of America is the story of expanding liberty: an ever-widening circle, constantly growing to reach further and include more. (I think our liberty is contracting instead of expanding.) Our Nation's founding commitment is still our deepest commitment: In our world, and here at home, we will extend the frontiers of freedom.

The times in which we live and work are changing dramatically. The workers of our parents' generation typically had one job, one skill, one career; often with one company that provided health care and a pension. And most of those workers were men. (Wait a minute; is he trying to take some sort of credit for women in the workplace? What decade is this?) Today, workers change jobs, even careers, many times during their lives, and in one of the most dramatic shifts our society has seen, two-thirds of all Moms also work outside the home.

This changed world can be a time of great opportunity for all Americans to earn a better living, support your family, and have a rewarding career. And government must take your side. Many of our most fundamental systems -- the tax code, health coverage, pension plans, worker training -- were created for the world of yesterday, not tomorrow. We will transform these systems so that all citizens are equipped, prepared -- and thus truly free -- to make your own choices and pursue your own dreams. (If only)

My plan begins with providing the security and opportunity of a growing economy. We now compete in a global market that provides new buyers for our goods, but new competition for our workers. To create more jobs in America, America must be the best place in the world to do business. To create jobs, my plan will encourage investment and expansion by restraining federal spending, (that’ll be hard to do with all the crap you are about to announce in the rest of the speech) reducing regulation, and making tax relief permanent. To create jobs, we will make our country less dependent on foreign sources of energy (good luck). To create jobs, we will expand trade and level the playing field to sell American goods and services across the globe (I hope that will happen). And we must protect small business owners and workers from the explosion of frivolous lawsuits that threaten jobs across America.

Another drag on our economy is the current tax code, which is a complicated mess -- filled with special interest loopholes, saddling our people with more than six billion hours of paperwork and headache every year. The American people deserve -- and our economic future demands -- a simpler, fairer, pro-growth system. In a new term, I will lead a bipartisan effort to reform and simplify the federal tax code. (I was hoping that he would mention the Fair Tax Plan, but no dice.)

Another priority in a new term will be to help workers take advantage of the expanding economy to find better, higher-paying jobs. In this time of change, many workers want to go back to school to learn different or higher-level skills. So we will double the number of people served by our principal job training program and increase funding for community colleges. I know that with the right skills, American workers can compete with anyone, anywhere in the world. (“I’m a free-spending, compassionate conservative.”)

In this time of change, opportunity in some communities is more distant than in others. To stand with workers in poor communities -- and those that have lost manufacturing, textile, and other jobs -- we will create American opportunity zones. In these areas, we'll provide tax relief and other incentives to attract new business, and improve housing and job training to bring hope and work throughout all of America. (“I’m a free-spending, compassionate conservative.”)

As I've traveled the country, I've met many workers and small business owners who have told me they are worried they cannot afford health care. More than half of the uninsured are small business employees and their families. In a new term, we must allow small firms to join together to purchase insurance at the discounts available to big companies. We will offer a tax credit to encourage small businesses and their employees to set up health savings accounts, and provide direct help for low-income Americans to purchase them. These accounts give workers the security of insurance against major illness, the opportunity to save tax-free for routine health expenses, and the freedom of knowing you can take your account with you whenever you change jobs. And we will provide low-income Americans with better access to health care: In a new term, I will ensure every poor county in America has a community or rural health center. (“I’m a free-spending, compassionate conservative.”)

As I have traveled our country, I have met too many good doctors, especially OB-GYNS, who are being forced out of practice because of the high cost of lawsuits. To make health care more affordable and accessible, we must pass medical liability reform now. And in all we do to improve health care in America, we will make sure that health decisions are made by doctors and patients, not by bureaucrats in Washington, DC. (Translation: Not only will he see to it that John Edwards is not the next VP, he will also be sure he can’t go back to making his living the way he once did.)

In this time of change, government must take the side of working families. In a new term, we will change outdated labor laws to offer comp-time and flex-time. Our laws should never stand in the way of a more family-friendly workplace.

(Here comes the “In an ownership society…” portion of the speech. I’m not going to attack the idea of people owning their own homes because it’s just as hard to attack that as it is easy to make empty promises about it in a speech.)

Another priority for a new term is to build an ownership society, because ownership brings security, and dignity, and independence.

Thanks to our policies, homeownership in America is at an all-time high. Tonight we set a new goal: seven million more affordable homes in the next 10 years so more American families will be able to open the door and say welcome to my home.

In an ownership society, more people will own their health plans, and have the confidence of owning a piece of their retirement. We will always keep the promise of Social Security for our older workers. With the huge Baby Boom generation approaching retirement, many of our children and grandchildren understandably worry whether Social Security will be there when they need it. We must strengthen Social Security by allowing younger workers to save some of their taxes in a personal account -- a nest egg you can call your own, and government can never take away. (For all you Gore-heads, a nest egg is similar to a lockbox.)

In all these proposals, we seek to provide not just a government program, but a path -- a path to greater opportunity, more freedom, and more control over your own life.

This path begins with our youngest Americans. To build a more hopeful America, we must help our children reach as far as their vision and character can take them. Tonight, I remind every parent and every teacher, I say to every child: No matter what your circumstance, no matter where you live -- your school will be the path to the promise of America. (A path to bad yearbook pictures and peer pressure. A path to awkward sexual experiences and esteem-killing social situations.)

We are transforming our schools by raising standards and focusing on results. We are insisting on accountability, empowering parents and teachers, and making sure that local people are in charge of their schools. By testing every child, we are identifying those who need help and we're providing a record level of funding to get them that help. In northeast Georgia, Gainesville Elementary School is mostly Hispanic and 90 percent poor and this year 90 percent of its students passed state tests in reading and math. The principal expresses the philosophy of his school this way: "We don't focus on what we can't do at this school; we focus on what we can do -- We do whatever it takes to get kids across the finish line." This principal is challenging the soft bigotry of low expectations, and that is the spirit of our education reform, and the commitment of our country: No dejaremos a ningún niño atrás. We will leave no child behind. (Okay, that Spanish part sure seemed a lot longer when watching the speech live.)

We are making progress -- and there is more to do. In this time of change, most new jobs are filled by people with at least two years of college, yet only about one in four students gets there. In our high schools, we will fund early intervention programs to help students at risk. We will place a new focus on math and science. As we make progress, we will require a rigorous exam before graduation. By raising performance in our high schools, and expanding Pell grants for low and middle income families, we will help more Americans start their career with a college diploma. (“I’m a free-spending, compassionate conservative.”)

America's children must also have a healthy start in life. In a new term, we will lead an aggressive effort to enroll millions of poor children who are eligible but not signed up for the government's health insurance programs. We will not allow a lack of attention, or information, to stand between these children and the health care they need. (“I’m a free-spending, compassionate conservative.”)

Anyone who wants more details on my agenda can find them online. The web address is not very imaginative, but it's easy to remember: GeorgeWBush.com. (Flawless plug~)

These changing times can be exciting times of expanded opportunity. And here, you face a choice. My opponent's policies are dramatically different from ours. Senator Kerry opposed Medicare reform and health savings accounts. After supporting my education reforms, he now wants to dilute them. He opposes legal and medical liability reform. He opposed reducing the marriage penalty, opposed doubling the child credit, and opposed lowering income taxes for all who pay them. (And just what website should we check out to make sure you are telling the truth here?) To be fair, there are some things my opponent is for -- he's proposed more than two trillion dollars in new federal spending so far, and that's a lot, even for a senator from Massachusetts. (Oh, the irony, the rich, sadly pathetic irony.) To pay for that spending, he is running on a platform of increasing taxes -- and that's the kind of promise a politician usually keeps.

His policies of tax and spend -- of expanding government rather than expanding opportunity -- are the policies of the past. We are on the path to the future -- and we are not turning back. (What a bold statement. “We are on the path to the future,” seriously, who wrote this crap? Did they even take English 101? Did they even go to college?)

In this world of change, some things do not change: the values we try to live by, the institutions that give our lives meaning and purpose. Our society rests on a foundation of responsibility and character and family commitment. (Oh, I feel the hate a’comin’. It’s comin’ round the bend.)

Because family and work are sources of stability and dignity, I support welfare reform that strengthens family and requires work. Because a caring society will value its weakest members, we must make a place for the unborn child. (And that place would be the womb, right?) Because religious charities provide a safety net of mercy and compassion, our government must never discriminate against them. (I’d like to go on record as being in favor of the government discriminating against religion. Religion should be treated by government exactly how they treat small businesses…like they are the government’s bitch. If a religion is going to make money, which they do, they should be taxed just like a business, which it is.) Because the union of a man and woman deserves an honored place in our society, I support the protection of marriage against activist judges. (Oh, how coy, Mr. President! Here’s what he really meant: “I support the protection of marriage against gays, dirty, dirty gays.”) And I will continue to appoint federal judges who know the difference between personal opinion and the strict interpretation of the law. (Unless their personal opinion is based on the same strict religious beliefs that are held by Mr. Bush.)

My opponent recently announced that he is the candidate of "conservative values," which must have come as a surprise to a lot of his supporters. Now, there are some problems with this claim. If you say the heart and soul of America is found in Hollywood, I'm afraid you are not the candidate of conservative values. If you voted against the bipartisan Defense of Marriage Act, which President Clinton signed, you are not the candidate of conservative values. If you gave a speech, as my opponent did, calling the Reagan presidency eight years of "moral darkness," then you may be a lot of things, but the candidate of conservative values is not one of them. (Is it just me or was that paragraph Foxworthy-esque?)

This election will also determine how America responds to the continuing danger of terrorism -- and you know where I stand. Three days after September 11th, I stood where Americans died, in the ruins of the Twin Towers. Workers in hard hats were shouting to me, "Whatever it takes." A fellow grabbed me by the arm and he said, "Do not let me down." Since that day, I wake up every morning thinking about how to better protect our country. I will never relent in defending America -- whatever it takes.

(From this point forward his speech was all about the war. I’m not going to go through those 24 paragraphs point by point. For one reason, there wasn’t much said that anyone couldn’t have imagined before hand. Another reason is that I don’t have all that much to say about it. As I said in my Kerry response, I happen to think the war is just. There are things I don’t like about how it has been handled and of course Bush smartly avoided mentioning those pitfalls in his speech. I think there have been some bad things that have gone down as far as the war and the reasons behind it, but I think it is a reasonable strategic move in keeping our country safe. Bush played up the good parts and this part of his speech was very successful. Overall the speech was good. I would rate it over Kerry’s speech as far as content goes, but not by much. I would rate Kerry’s speech higher as far as delivery goes. Bush seemed scared to me. It’s odd. Those Republicans love him. I mean really, really love him; but he just seems like he can never deliver when it counts. Honestly, when’s the last time he instilled any confidence with his words since that day at Ground Zero on the bullhorn? This guy makes Mel Tillis sound like James Earl Jones. He has chance after chance to hit it out of the park and the best he can do is a bunt single. He’ll still win though, whether we like it or not.)